Fear of Failure

failure will destroy you but fear of failure will kill you...!!!

Whether it's an exam, a cricket match, a new job, a new responsibility or a new challenge most of us ask our selves the question 'what if... what if I fail...!!!'. Heartbeat jumps up, a sudden uneasiness possesses us, thoughts of defeat,humiliation, loss of pride seem to rule our mind. In this state of mind decisions we make will mostly be fueled by emotion rather than rational thinking. Obviously such thinking would contribute towards failure than success. When a student starts to study if the mind gets filled with all the negative feelings of failing the exam, envisioning how the society will perceive him as a looser, all the verbal and mental beatings the student will have to undergo from his family, then of course concentrating on the subject matter that needs to be read and absorbed will go haywire. If a batsman keeps on thinking 'I will get dropped from the team,if I get out cheaply... I don't want to get out before making a 50' then obviously part of the
mind is not working on the 'task at hand'. Moreover fear of failure will cause anxiety, stress which will further inhibit our ability to concentrate and perform the 'task at hand' to our full potential.

Fear of failure forces us to think about failing and all the ill-effects it would have on us but not on how to achieve success. Most importantly it prevents us from
'concentrating at the task at hand'. Scoring a half century in a cricket match is not a one off incident. The batsman has to face a lot of balls from different bowlers and concentrate on each ball delivered to him. He needs to know about what shots he can play and what shots he has not mastered yet. A student needs to know what subject matter that needs to be studied, after studying he needs to know which areas he is good at and which areas he is not well versed in so that at the time of the exam a more lucrative selection of questions to answer can be made. The basic thing is that the new challenge is not a random destination you may or may not reach. It's not determined by some divine power, irrespective of whether you work hard or not.There is a journey that you need to make to reach it. Be it an exam, a cricket match, a new responsibility or a new challenge there is always a journey that needs to be made.

It is the journey that matters not the destination...!!!.

If you concentrate on the journey, plan out the journey, the destination will take care of it self. Furthermore you can be satisfied that you gave it the best shot possible whether the destination was a failure or a success. The journey is made up of a sequence of steps. To make a successful journey, each step of the journey should be planned and thoughtfully sailed through.In the case of a cricketer it will be about concentrating on the next incoming ball. Reminding yourself of the weapons in the bowlers armory and matching those with the stuff you have. For a student it will be about making sure that you spend quality time at studying, plus may be working on past questions posted by the examiner and so on. It is essential that concentration be laid on the 'task at hand' at each step of the journey with presence of mind. This will also help to ease the mental burden. If you are stuck with a big responsibility rather than fretting over what would happen if you fail you need to ask yourself what do you need to do to make it a success. Break up the big things to smaller pieces and concentrate on each smaller piece which is much easier and finish the smaller piece to the best of your ability.

Some people say dream positively...but it's nothing but a mirage...!!!

When fear of failure hits you some people revert to envisioning the benefits and rewards that one will receive by succeeding. A project manager might think of all the bonus increments, promotions that he will get due to pulling off a difficult assignment when the clouds of fear set on his mind. That will take the focus away and give you a false sense of happiness. But it should be emphasized that it is just a mirage. It's like going to see a movie after stressful day just to take the mind off work. You can build castles in the sand but they will be nothing but sand castles if a proper plan of execution is not there. It is critical that you identify the journey you need to make. Day-dreaming will give you a false sense of relief. However this day dreaming can quickly turn into an addiction consuming valuable time and effort which could otherwise be invested more fruitfully. You can live in a fantasy world for a temporary period envisioning all the glory and enjoyment that success could bring. But it is nothing but a fantasy world if you don't have a proper journey planned out. Sooner or later you would have to face the reality and the bitter truth. This would prove extremely difficult for people living in dream worlds. Following verse in 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling sums this up perfectly.

If you can dream - but not make dreams your master
If you can think - but not make thoughts your aim
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same.
....
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son !!!

Whether it's success or failure that you meet in your final destination the fact is, it's the journey that mattered. Failure teaches you many things. If you meet failure you can look back at the journey you made and identify the mistakes, improvements that need to be made on your next journey. Because you have thoughtfully made each step of the journey it will be easy to correct the mistakes if any. During your journey you would have discovered and learned more about your self. The strengths, weaknesses, mistakes are visible because you made the journey with the presence of mind and not in an agitated state fueled by fear of failure.

Not fearing about failure does not mean you should not have your contingencies planned out. If we finally meet failure having a 'plan B' would never heart. Thinking about the worst case scenarios and having plans to meet those should never be undermined. However it should be noted that such planning is different from 'fear of failure'. It is not driven through fear. It is driven through reason and logic. It is driven through the realization that failure can be a probable out come in which case we need to be prepared for it.

Although it is simple logic to deduce that 'fear of failure' will undermine your chances to succeed, how does one avoid it. 'Fear of failure' can develop to a sort of involuntary action. For example when a person accidentally touches a heated object, involuntary action that has been automated into humans is to immediately retract the hand. 'Fear of failure' can develop into such involuntary action that is hard coded into your body and soul. Whenever one starts on a new challenge involuntarily thoughts of failure can cloud your mind. So how does one get rid of such involuntary behaviour. The most important thing is to have self awareness. You need to monitor our self in challenging situations. Observe what takes place when you fear of failure. Does your heartbeat jump up or do you breath uneasily or does your train of thoughts suddenly go berserk. From such signals you should deduce that 'fear of failure' is setting on your mind. Training yourself to be aware of such things is the first step that should be mastered. Then you have the option of waiting until such fear fades away to continue what ever you were doing. Another option would be to tell yourself that it will be what it will be at the end, but what you should concentrate is on the journey.. Making sure that you focus on the next step that needs to be made and make that next step in a conscious manner not fueled by 'fear of failure'.